


babysitters club

by tesselated



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Kidfic, M/M, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-25
Updated: 2015-07-25
Packaged: 2018-04-11 03:07:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4418771
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tesselated/pseuds/tesselated
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is the problem with Yamaguchi: he’s too nice. Tsukishima has known this since they were thirteen, but apparently he’s never learned because here he is, babyproofing their apartment for the third time this month because Sugawara knows Yamaguchi will say yes when he asks them to babysit.</p>
            </blockquote>





	babysitters club

**Author's Note:**

> the daisug is super background and there's also some asanoya shoutouts along the way. i thought i was being very lowkey about this being in the same verse as my [last tsukiyama fic](http://archiveofourown.org/works/3895666) but upon editing i realized i was not. not required reading, just definitely set some years after that.

“Kei,” Yamaguchi calls from where he’s sitting on the kitchen counter, “Do you have plans tonight?”

Tsukishima looks up from the book he’s reading with an eyebrow raised. “I have never had plans.” 

“That’s what I thought.” Yamaguchi says, looking down at his phone with his thumbs moving. 

Tsukishima pauses, questioning if he wants to know the reasoning behind this. His curiousity wins. “Why?”

“Daichi-san and Suga-san’s babysitter fell through.” Yamaguchi looks apologetic. Tsukishima groans. 

“I’m sorry!” Yamaguchi says, biting his lip.

“You’re _not_ ,” Tsukishima insists. 

“I’m not, really.” Yamaguchi agrees with a small grin. 

Tsukishima glares at him half-heartedly. “Stop looking at me like that.”

“Like what?” 

“All...cute. Stop it.” Tsukishima grumbles and Yamaguchi laughs at him. He slides down from his perch on the counter and walks over to where Tsukishima is laying on the couch. 

“You think I’m cute.” Yamaguchi says like he’s teasing, smirking down at him.

Tsukishima closes his book and looks up at Yamaguchi, deadpan. “We live together.” 

“Still, though.” Yamaguchi says, laughing at him, and Tsukishima feels his cheeks go pink against his will. 

Tsukishima just sighs, sitting up and putting his book on the coffee table. “When are we babysitting?”

This is the problem with Yamaguchi: he’s too nice. Tsukishima has known this since they were thirteen, but apparently he’s never learned because here he is, babyproofing their apartment for the third time this month because Sugawara knows Yamaguchi will say yes. It doesn’t help that Yamaguchi _likes_ babysitting, because kids like him, and that brings him back to the original problem. Yamaguchi is too nice. 

At least in Sendai the only people who call on them are Daichi and Sugawara; the last time they were back home they got Asahi and Nishinoya’s unruly litter of four, and Tsukishima _truly_ does not want a repeat of that performance. 

Daichi and Sugawara show up at six. They’re dressed very nicely, because it’s a Friday night and they’ve shoved their children off onto half-willing participants so they can go do something that requires looking nice. Tsukishima stands behind Yamaguchi and glares at Sugawara in a way that he hopes translates into “I’m onto you.” Suga smiles sweetly in return, but Tsukishima isn’t fooled; that man has a mind for strategy. 

“Thanks for letting them stay the night,” Suga says. Tsukishima turns to Yamaguchi with an eyebrow raised testily. He had not been informed they were hosting a sleepover.

“No problem,” Yamaguchi says with a nervous laugh, aiming another fake-apologetic smile at Tsukishima. He glares back.

“Miyo can’t have peanuts,” Daichi reminds Yamaguchi as the girls run into their apartment and send the cat darting under the couch in aggravation. Tsukishima can relate. 

“And Katsu can’t have milk.” Sugawara says, the same tandem routine they do every time.

“We don’t have any peanuts or milk.” Yamaguchi informs them with a serious nod.

“Bedtime is at —” Daichi starts, but Tsukishima cuts him off.

“Nine o’clock, we know.” He says with a bored tone, but it doesn’t seem to phase either of them. Daichi smiles brightly at him. 

“Have fun!” Sugawara aims at Tsukishima with a matching smile, and really, that’s a low blow. 

“I don’t like them.” Tsukishima mutters as Yamaguchi closes the door. 

“Yes you do.” Yamaguchi tells him, leaning up to kiss his cheek. “Come on. Kids.”

The two little girls are sitting in front of the couch with their overnight bags, looking underneath it to try to find the cat. 

“She doesn’t want to play right now,” Yamaguchi tells them, and they look up at him expectantly, like he can produce something more interesting than an annoyed cat. They look up at Tsukishima too, with their wide eyes, and it makes him nervous. 

“Do you guys want to watch a movie?” Yamaguchi asks with a smile. Katsu and Miyo look unimpressed with the idea.

“No!” Miyo shouts, and Katsu laughs giddily. 

“Yeah, no!” Katsu echoes. They both have dark hair and brown eyes, but Miyo has freckles across her nose and is missing two teeth. They’re four and six and Tsukishima doesn’t have much experience with children but he thinks those are scary ages for them to be.

“Our daddies are on a _date_.” Miyo says seriously, looking up at Tsukishima.

“What’s a date?” Katsu asks. 

“Sometimes grown-ups want to be alone with each other.” Yamaguchi answers, sitting down on the floor with his legs crossed so he’s a little shorter than the girls. This leaves Tsukishima standing a hundred centimeters above everyone else, slouching awkwardly. 

Miyo is still staring up at him like she’s trying to figure him out. “Do _you_ ever want to be alone with each other?” 

“Yes.” Tsukishima deadpans, and Yamaguchi laughs easily.

“We’re always alone with each other.” He says, tilting his head back to look up at Tsukishima, grinning. Cute. Yamaguchi is cute. Tsukishima _knows_ this, logically, but sometimes it hits him all at once again, like he’s seventeen. 

“Don’t you want babies?” Katsu asks Yamaguchi earnestly. 

It’s quiet for a minute before Yamaguchi laughs awkwardly, still looking up at Tsukishima. 

“Not everyone wants babies.” Tsukishima says, looking down at Yamaguchi carefully. He’s afraid of it becoming a sore subject. 

“But we get to babysit you, so it’s kind of like having babies.” Yamaguchi says, turning back to Katsu. 

“Especially with how often your dads have dates.” Tsukishima mutters. Yamaguchi muffles a laugh and rolls his eyes. 

“And we have Hana,” Yamaguchi points at the cat, who stalks out from underneath the couch to glare at them all and curl around Tsukishima’s legs.

“She looks like you,” Miyo says with a laugh, pointing from the cat’s disinterested expression to Tsukishima’s disinterested expression. 

Tsukishima makes an affronted noise in the back of his throat, looking to Yamaguchi for support but Yamaguchi looks between him and the cat and grimaces. “Tsukki,” he says like he’s breaking bad news, “she kind of does.” The girls collapse into a fit of laughter and Tsukishima feels himself blush. 

Things settle down after Yamaguchi talks Miyo and Katsu into watching a movie after all. He’s good at kids and making them do the things they should. He pulls out his small collection of animated movies, but after they tell him they’ve never seen My Neighbor Totoro he looks so sad and upset that Tsukishima steps in and just puts it in the DVD player.

“They’re bad parents,” Yamaguchi mutters as he takes his usual spot against the arm of the couch, the girls sitting on the floor with their backs against the sofa. 

“Tadashi, calm down.” Tsukishima says quietly through a grin, leaning with his back against Yamaguchi’s chest on instinct, Yamaguchi’s hands wrapping around his middle. 

“This isn’t weird, is it?” Tsukishima asks, nodding toward the kids, and Yamaguchi shrugs behind him.

“Every time we see Suga his hands are halfway in Daichi’s pants, so I don’t think so.” Yamaguchi whispers in his ear, and Tsukishima chokes on nothing.

“Yamaguchi.” He says, trying for scolding, but he’s laughing anyway.

Miyo turns around to glare at them, and it’s fairly unintimidating. “Stop being _loud_.”

“Sorry!” Yamaguchi says brightly with a smile, and Tsukishima snorts. 

Katsu and Miyo are watching the screen with interest, and Tsukishima settles back into Yamaguchi. 

“This is nice.” Yamaguchi says quietly a while later, and it makes Tsukishima open his eyes from the half-sleep he was dozing into.

Yamaguchi’s arms are still around his torso, the cat laying on his stomach, and the girls are quiet, staring up at the TV excitedly. As far as children go, they’re probably good ones; they’re always well-behaved, usually quiet and they’re cute, sometimes. They never throw tantrums and they eat vegetables without complaining. It figures, Daichi and Suga having eerily well-balanced children; those two were always too perfect.

“It kind of is, I guess.” Tsukishima says back to Yamaguchi, closing his eyes again. 

Yamaguchi jostles his leg against Tskushima warningly. “Don’t fall asleep on me.” 

“I won’t,” Tsukishima mutters, blinking his eyes open because he knows for a fact Yamaguchi will push him off the couch if he falls asleep. 

“We would be good parents.” Yamaguchi says quietly, moving his hands and inadvertently pushing Tsukishima’s shirt up. 

“You would be.” Tsukishima agrees, and Yamaguchi knees him in the side. It’s a conversation that they have every so often. Sometimes Tsukishima worries about it, that Yamaguchi is sore from missing something Tsukishima doesn’t want. He decides not to dwell on it now, and watches the cat bus on the screen. Katsu is laughing giddily at something, pressed against Miyo, and he’s right. It’s nice. 

“It’s bedtime!” Yamaguchi announces when the movie is over. Tsukishima envies Yamaguchi’s kid-voice, friendly and sweet in a way that he could never manipulate his own voice into.

“Nooo,” Katsu whines, looking upset at this turn of events. 

“Yes.” Tsukishima says back, sitting up on the couch and stretching his arms, Hana jumping off of him and toward their bedroom. 

Yamaguchi rolls out a futon on their admittedly small living room floor, and Miyo and Katsu grumble to each other, trying to mask yawns.

Tsukishima brings them blankets, Hana following behind his feet, and Katsu tries to lunge for the cat. Predictably, she darts to the other side of the room and Katsu pouts up at Tsukishima. 

“Can Hana sleep with us?” She asks, sounding sad.

Tsukishima rubs the back of his neck with his hand. “She kind of does what she wants.”

“And usually she wants to sleep on Tsukishima-san’s head.” Yamaguchi says apologetically, grabbing the blankets from underneah his arm and spreading them out on the floor. 

“That wouldn’t be comfortable.” Miyo says, furrowing her eyebrows like she’s trying to understand the logic.

“That’s what I always say.” Tsukishima shrugs. 

It’s another half-hour of little girl questions before they manage to extricate themselves, Yamaguchi looking happy as they close the door to their bedroom. 

He changes into an old Karasuno shirt to sleep in, too many years of washes having worn most of the orange off of the black fabric. Tsukishima watches his back and sighs to himself.

“Tadashi,” he starts, and Yamaguchi turns around to look at him expectantly. “I’m sorry, that I don’t want kids.”

Yamaguchi pulls his head through the neck of the shirt, looking at him with furrowed eyebrows. “Don’t be stupid.” Tsukishima blinks, and Yamaguchi sits down next to him on the edge of their bed. “I like us. The way we are.” He grins, and Tsukishima feels some of his doubt leave him. 

“You get yourself so worked up, Kei.” Yamaguchi laughs, knocking his shoulder against Tsukishima’s. “I’m not wanting for anything.” 

“Oh.” Tsukishima mutters, relieved but embarrassed.

“Besides, we have everyone else’s kids. Why do we need our own?” Yamaguchi asks, lying back against the bed and pulling Tsukishima to do the same. 

“I blame you for that, by the way.” Tsukishima says, letting his hand go up and card through Yamaguchi’s hair. It’s getting long and shaggy.

“I deserve that.” Yamaguchi agrees. “Don’t you at least get the blame for Akiteru?”

“No.” Tsukishima says stubbornly. His nephew _loves_ Yamaguchi, but seems ambivalent about Tsukishima. Typical.

“Someday we’ll babysit for Kuroo and Kenma and I can blame you then.” Yamaguchi says hopefully.

Tsukishima looks at him, skeptical. “When I lived with them they couldn’t even take care of a plant.”

“They have cats now though, right?” Yamaguchi asks, trying to defend them, which is valiant but stupid. 

“Six of them.” Tsukishima says with a grimace.

Yamaguchi winces, and Tsukishima shakes his head.

“We should get a dog,” Yamaguchi says errantly. 

Tsukishima runs his hands through Yamaguchi’s hair again, resting at the nape of his neck. “Let’s not get crazy.”

“Oh my god,” Yamaguchi says, rolling his eyes and leaning over to kiss Tsukishima. His lips are soft, and Tsukishima lets Yamaguchi roll on top of him, pin his hands over his head.

“Oh,” Yamaguchi mutters, taking one of his hands off of Tsukishima’s wrists to take his glasses off for him. 

“Thanks,” Tsukishima says softly back. A familiar routine. And this is familiar too, the way Yamaguchi keeps his hands pressed down onto Tsukishima’s wrists, straddling his hips as they kiss.

“Tadashi, we probably shouldn’t do anything.” Tsukishima mutters, having trouble convincing himself

“I’m not doing anything,” Yamaguchi says defensively, kissing Tsukishima’s neck.

 _Goddamn liar_ , Tsukishima thinks when Yamaguchi rolls his hips down and then laughs out a “Sorry, Tsukki.”

Tsukishima balls his hands in Yamaguchi’s shirt, rucking it upwards. “You’re very forward, has anyone ever told you that?” 

Yamaguchi sits up like he’s considering. “Only this boy who followed me around in high school.”

“Followed _you_ around? I don’t think—” Tsukishima starts, but Yamaguchi just laughs and rocks his hips downward again, shutting him up effectively. 

“Tadashi, the kids.” Tsukishima says in a warning voice.

“Well, you’ll just have to be quiet.” Yamaguchi stage whispers, clearly enjoying himself. 

Tsukishima does his best glare, impeded by feeling himself start to get hard underneath Yamaguchi. 

“You’re cute.” Yamaguchi says with a faint giggle, looking down at him.

“You’re an idiot.” Tsukishima says back. 

“Out of curiousity, Kei,” Yamaguchi says, pulling his hands off of Tsukishima’s wrists to prop up his chin with them over Tsukishima’s chest, “What’s the most irresponsible thing you’ve ever done?”

“Ever?” Tsukishima considers. “Moving in with you after two months.”

Yamaguchi laughs at him. “That’s a little weak.”

“Why, what’s yours?” Tsukishima asks defensively.

“Don’t ask questions you don’t want the answers to, Tsukki.” Yamaguchi says with a smirk.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“I’ve got stories!” Yamaguchi says, wiggling his eyebrows.

“I’ve heard your stories.” Tsukishima says skeptically.

“You haven’t heard _all_ my stories. I have college stories.” 

Tsukishima snorts. “You were running around in biochem labs and classes about saving the Earth.” 

“And you were running around, I don’t know, making spreadsheets and kissing calculators. We’re not here to throw stones.” Yamaguchi glares at him and Tsukishima laughs. 

“What _are_ we here to do, exactly?” Tsukishima asks, shifting uncomfortably underneath Yamaguchi.

“Just let me blow you and keep quiet.” Yamaguchi says in a huff.

“That’s romantic.” Tsukishima deadpans, but when Yamaguchi keeps looking at him he just rolls his eyes and makes a hand gesture to wave Yamaguchi on.

“Sorry to offend, o great king of romance,” Yamaguchi says through a laugh, hands on the waistband of Tsukishima’s sweatpants.

Tsukishima closes his eyes at the feeling but furrows his eyebrows. “Hey. I’m romantic.”

“You actually do buy me flowers pretty often.” Yamaguchi relents, lowering himself down the bed. 

“I do.” Tsukishima agrees. 

“I like that. Thanks.” Yamaguchi’s breath hits Tsukishima’s navel as he speaks.

“You’re welcome,” Tsukishima manages, looking down at Yamaguchi. 

He puts his finger up to his lips and shushes quietly before pulling down Tsukishima’s pajama pants.

++

He woke up earlier than he meant to.

“Tsukishima-san,” Miyo says in her small sleepy voice, rubbing her eyes with the back of her hands as she watches him, “Why do you have dinosaurs?”

Tsukishima turns away from the stove, glancing at her and then at the coffee table in the living room where Yamaguchi decided they could seem decorative. “Because I like them.”

“I like them too.” She sounds happy at this, and her chin goes back to resting on the kitchen table. Katsu is still asleep on the futon and Yamaguchi is still asleep in bed. Tsukishima didn’t expect Miyo to be awake either but she was sitting on the couch reading a picture book in the early sunlight. He got up to make himself breakfast, but he figured he should make some eggs for her too.

“Tsukishima-san,” Miyo starts again, and Tsukishima thinks maybe he should be annoyed by this but he’s not, really. “Are you in love?”

He turns to looks at her with surprise, still holding a spatula in his hand. “Yes,” he says plainly, even though it feels sort of embarrassing to talk about it with a six-year-old. 

“Why?” She asks him, looking earnestly confused. 

“I don’t know how to explain that.” Tsukishima says with a furrowed brow. He turns back to the pan on the stove. 

“Why are grown-ups in love so much?” She asks again. 

“Not only grown-ups.” He tells her.

“Kids can be in love?” She asks, sounding disbelieving. 

“Sometimes,” he says back. He turns the stove off and slides most of the eggs onto his plate, putting the rest on a smaller plate for Miyo. 

It’s easier to talk to kids like this, he thinks, one on one. It helps that she’s still sleepy, too. 

“Were _you_?” She asks through a bite of food a moment later, chopsticks in her hand. 

“Maybe,” he says back, considering. He doesn’t know if he really could have wrapped his head around the concept of being in love at age thirteen, or sixteen, or eighteen. But maybe that’s what it was, whether he realized it or not. 

“With _who_?” She looks up at him with her big eyes, the freckles standing out against her pale skin, and really the freckles are unfair. It tips the endearment scales.

“Yamaguchi-san,” he answers, moving food around on his plate, and she snickers at him. 

“That’s embarrassing.” Miyo informs him.

Tsukishima is almost offended, but it breaks into a small grin. “It kind of is. Don’t tell him I said that.”

It’s quiet for a few minutes, just both of them eating, before she looks up and says earnestly, “Asa-chan told me that you seem scary but you’re nice.” 

It takes him a moment to figure out who Asa-chan could be before he smirks — Azumane. “Don’t you think _he_ seems scary? He’s big.”

“Asa-chan isn’t scary.” Miyo scoffs at him, like he’s an idiot. “You’re not scary either, you just pretend to be.”

Tsukishima isn’t sure if that’s a compliment or not, but he doesn’t argue it. “Do you see Asahi-san and Nishinoya-san often?” He isn’t sure why he’s making conversation with her, but it isn’t a terrible thing to do. She’s funny, sometimes. 

“Sometimes. Their house is loud.” Miyo tells him, shaking her head like she disapproves.

Tsukishima sighs, commiserating. “Too loud.”

They finish their eggs quietly. Yamaguchi rolls out of bed before Tsukishima can put the plates in the sink, yawning and scratching his stomach under his shirt as he pads into the kitchen.

“Oh.” He says, catching sight of Tsukishima and Miyo, pushing his t-shirt back down. “Good morning.”

“Good morning,” Miyo parrots back to him happily. 

Tsukishima grins at his bedhead, the stubborn hair at the top of his head sticking up. Yamaguchi grabs the plates from the kitchen table as he walks by, stacking them in one hand and letting his other hand rest gently on Tsukishima’s shoulder.

“Did you make me anything?” He asks Tsukishima.

“Early bird gets the worm, Yamaguchi.” Tsukishima tells him, tipping his head back to look at him. 

“Ah, right.” Yamaguchi says, tugging on a strand of Tsukishima’s hair as revenge before he walks away. Tsukishima grins anyway. 

“Yamaguchi-san,” Miyo calls over to him where he’s standing in front of the kitchen sink, “Tsukishima-san told me he was in love with you when he a kid.”

Yamaguchi turns around, eyebrows raised high, and Tsukishima can feel himself blushing. “Well that’s something,” he says, grinning expectantly at Tsukishima. 

Tsukishima groans quietly, putting his face in his hands, and he hears Yamaguchi laugh. “I asked you not to tell him that,” he aims at Miyo, who looks pleased with herself.

An hour later, Suga is grabbing the girls’ belongings from the floor and folding them into a bag, a still-sleeping Katsu slung over Daichi’s shoulder.

“Thank you again,” Daichi says quietly with a smile. 

“No problem!” Yamaguchi says brightly, rolling up the futon. “I hope you had a nice night.” 

“Oh, we did.” Sugawara says with a smile that’s not entirely innocent; apparently Tsukishima isn’t the only one who thinks so because Daichi shoots Suga an embarrassed look. 

“Come on, Miyo,” Sugawara says with a smirk spreading on his face, grabbing her hand. 

When they leave, Yamaguchi closes the door and turns to him. He’s still in pajamas, bedhead barely managed, and he steps into Tsukishima’s space with a sly grin. 

“So when exactly did you fall for me, Kei?” He teases.

“Oh my god.”

“Was it in class? Did you want to confess by my locker?” Yamaguchi wraps his arms around the back of Tsukishima’s neck, hanging off of him in a way that should be annoying but isn’t. 

“Shut up, Yamaguchi.” Tsukishima mutters, rolling his eyes.

But Yamaguchi is still snickering. “In volleyball practice? Did I distract you from the game?” 

Tsukishima sighs, looks down at Yamaguchi. “Do you remember in junior high, that night you spent at my house when your mother was out of town?” 

Yamaguchi looks surprised at the question, his smirk slipping into curiosity. “Yeah.”

“You, um, told me that my room was really cool. And then I woke up before you the next day and you were drooling all over my extra pillows and you looked really...you looked cute. That’s — I mean I didn’t know it, then, but.” Tsukishima trails off. He can feel his cheeks get red and it’s annoying; why does he have to _blush_ so much. 

“That’s really sweet.” Yamaguchi says, looking up at him with half a smile. “I feel bad for making fun of you now.”

“I knew you would.” Tsukishima snorts, and Yamaguchi laughs, leaning up to kiss his cheek. 

“I thought you were so cool, you know. You were like the coolest boy ever.” Yamaguchi tells him. 

Tsukishima smirks. “I know.”

“Luckily that phase is over.” Yamaguchi says, stepping on his toes, and Tsukishima grins despite it. 

“Did you know Azumane Asahi is going around telling children that I’m nice?” Tsukishima asks as Yamaguchi steps back, walking back toward their bedroom. Tsukishima indulges himself and watches him walk away for a moment.

“How dare he.” Yamaguchi says sarcastically, before he turns back and catches Tsukishima staring at him. “It’s embarrassing, how much you like me. It’s really embarrassing for you,” he laughs, a hand on his hips.

“Put that in your wedding vows, will you?” Tsukishima says with a smirk, finally walking toward him.

Yamaguchi smirks back. “Are you proposing? This is a shitty proposal.”

“I propose that we go back to bed.” He says back, his hand linking with Yamaguchi’s as he pulls them down the hallway.

“Good one, Tsukki.” Yamaguchi says, and the sarcasm is a little over-the-top, in Tsukishima’s opinion.

“Shut up.” Tsukishima mutters back, trying to hide his grin.

**Author's Note:**

> feel free to follow me on [twitter](http://twitter.com/quidditched)!


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